I thought the feelings get a bit stronger,
As you and I grow closer.
I knew some how it gets colder,
If I will stay you a bit longer.

I have not found the feelings for you.
And I was pushed to be blue.
I knew that it is not something new
The love I have is not truly for you.

I’m afraid I might loose a friend
If I say let’s just be friends.
I know somehow you feel it too.
The love I have is not really for you.

I may be blinded by my friends and tribe
But please forgive me for I still have my pride.
I cannot say I love you too.
Co’z it’s not true and I know you’ll be blue.

Minute after minute I stare through your eyes
I seek for reason but cannot realize

Hour after hour I wait for you
Day in and day out I seek for truth

Month after month I have waited for something
People are going people are coming

Year after year I was lost
Answers are hard to face, the hardest kind of soft

As I seek the truth more and more
I didn't realize that something I waited for walked out the door

Now once you are gone it becomes clear
You were the truth I have been seeking for years

I'm sorry, come back to me
I never said," I love you Terri"

Some of the times, I meet a person, talk to them for a while and even befriend them, even if for the little time that I get to know them, and it may be a while before I see them again, but within that time frame of having not seen them, though having thought about them on a continuous basis, that I, I guess like a lot of people, unless you have a photographic memory, can’t remember every detail; which I found rather amusing after talking to a young lady. I was sitting in front of Popeye’s on Al Rigga Rd., one of the main strips in Dubai, when I began talking to a young Turkish lady while having a cup of coffee on a nice January afternoon. We must have sat there and talked for over an hour, she even introduced me to one of her friends, and was about to help me find a hotel room after I had decided to spend an extra night since I was having such a wonderful time there. And I may have seen her a few times there sitting inside having a light lunch, while I usually sit outside, wait on a drink or a bite to eat and enjoying the passing by of so many different peoples, since it’s a nice area, sort of the shopping and dinning district, and thus the sidewalks are lined from on end of several blocks to the other with tables and chairs where if instead of sitting inside and having a cup of coffee or a bite to eat, you can order and have the waitress bring you food out to you at your table.

Now I see you, later I won’t
Now I can hug, you later I won’t
I cannot stress how much I miss you.
But I cannot stop you from doing what you need to do.

Yes, I may not have the strength to follow all our biddings.
I may not have the will to stop smoking.
But that does not mean that I love you less.
I can’t understand, why small things like this get in our way.

I cannot pretend that I don’t care; I cannot pretend that it does not bother me.
I cannot even tell myself that it’s ok. But somehow somewhere inside of me is crying.
I know you will be gone in a couple of days, I know you have to go far away.

I’m a coffee pub hopper as you know by now; a place where I go to regroup or get focused to start a venture in a new place; thus I’ll go to different coffee shops, find me a window seat, if not sitting on the outside, get me a hot cup of coffee and sit there and enjoy life, its people, and what it has to offer for about twenty to thirty minutes, and it can make a complete day. Ironically I met Milana one evening after sitting there trying to decide what to do or what to do next. The next morning I woke up still trying to figure out what was going on, only to find her sitting there on the edge of the bed on a Saturday morning, watching cartoons. I had just taken for granted that she had awaken earlier than I had and turned on the TV, while I lay there still asleep after a long night, that after awakening, I could only vaguely remember.

today is just another lonely cold day without you.
i dont know how i feel;
or how to deal.
though somewhere;
some day i know i will heal.

Across the miles, I've met a man
I couldn't believe he could be the one
With a smiling face
That I can't resist...

A soft voice, a lovely face
Gives me courage and brings me peace
The funny jokes and the laughter
It touches my heart now and forever...

Man with a loving heart
Tell me where I'm gonna start
Show me how to love you
So that I could be forever with you...

Oh man with a loving heart
Tell me if my heart is enough
To care for you, to cherish you
And to love you as much as I do...

Show me how to give love
Man with a loving heart
'Cause I wanna spend time with you

I felt love, I'm so glad
I got hurt, I cried out loud
I moved on and opened my heart
Then I've met you on a dating site...

You, that makes me happy
You who made me cry
You are so funny
And you are everything to me...

You make me laugh in times I'm down
There for me when I need someone
Comfort me when I'm about to cry
And makes me feel that I'll be fine...

You cared for me when I was sick
In your arms you made me sleep
When I wake up you're there with me
You kissed me and smiled at me...

You're so sweet, I'm so happy
You're funny, I'm so lucky
When you're sad, I feel lonely

I don't know how much longer I can function. Knowing you're out there looking for me. Hearing your heartbeat call to me, demanding I live for you.

I don't know how much longer I can continue living this lie. Making love to him night after night, and wishing it was you. Knowing he doesn't deserve this, wanting to love him, wishing beyond hope that it was him that I burned for, but realizing that it will always be you.

I don't know how much longer I can stand this. Lying next to him dreaming of you. This faceless lover who possess my spirit. Not physically present, but refusing to let me go. This faceless man who has branded my heart, and my soul.

When all the noise of the busy world grows silent, no lights to be seen for miles around, that is the time when im shaken up the most. because i am alone and i know the thoughts in my head have no distractions, they'll start running wild and then i'll think of you.
i'll wonder if you miss me the way im missing you, or did time take its toll, are you used to being without me? do you use the distractions of the world, like me, to keep all the things about us off your mind? Do you still love me the same way you did, has distance made it stonger or did it fade away with time?
I think about our happy times the mid day walks, the late nigh talks, the way we smiled the way we frowned and how every argument ended in a laugh. we were bonded at the seems seems that couldnt be torn by anything, at least not for me.