What is it about some women who find themselves to be completely drawn to men who are nothing shy of complication? Is it the chase? The rush of the ever so-seductive-withholding dance? A maternal instinct to love unconditionally? It's as if there a checklist of bad relationship criteria and personality defects that get marked off one by one.

Are you cocky? Emotionally limited? Selfish? Unattainable? Lazy? Unaccountable? Moody? Hurtful? Deceitful? A user? A liar? Have an addiction of some kind? Suffer from commitment phobia? Check.

Just to name a few.

I can't tell you how many late night calls I've received {and made myself} from friends after they've been treated horribly by the one who says he loves them. The one who says he's sorry, he'll change, he'll try harder. But it never happens. You just became a contestant on the "Wheel of Misfortune Show" And from then on it's just a sleigh ride into emotional ups and downs like you've never felt. And instead of walking away from the raining shit storm that has become your life, you pop open an umbrella.

I don't know why but women have this tendency to hold on longer, to try to fix the same problem over and over again. I've listened to friends of mine bitch and cry, and "leave" the same guys for years. FOR YEARS. Don't they understand by now? {Don't I understand by now?} Quit trying. It's never going to change. Leave the asshole already. His problems are not yours to fix. Get out of the vicious cycle of I love you, I hate You. I need you, get away. I want this to work, I can't do this anymore. Quit wasting your time, your life, your love. There are so many men out there. SINGLE. Yes. There are single guys out there and it's BECAUSE they're nice. It's because they're too available. It's because of fucked up women such as myself who find some uncontrollable need to obtain the unobtainable. To flock to the land of assholes. There are men out there who don't care if you have a kid. If you have two. Men that don't care if you go out on a Friday night without them. If your hairs not curly enough. Straight enough. Men that don't put you down. That love any gift you give them. That think you're sexy no matter what you're wearing. That come to bed at night without you having to ask.

I feel terrible for these men punished for their ability to have respect for a woman. To actually WANT to be in a relationship. To just be "too nice" as some say. Too open. Too available. Too sweet. Someone please tell me what the hell is wrong with these women?!! {What the hell is wrong with me??!} We say that's what we're looking for but when it's offered to us we slam the door in their face then turn around and open that same door for someone who pisses on our welcome mat.