AN UNKOWN AND UNCERTAIN FUTURE

She’ll stand in a corner as if time was on her side,
and she’ll realise that life was given to her.
Then she’ll understand how it is, and what has happened,
when she finds the door only to realise that she’s lost the key.
And searching through her mind she’ll discover the reason
why a cloud never let her see the sun.
She’ll face the dawn through bloodshot eyes until sleep
forces her to surrender to its spell,
and to its dreams, and what of dreams……….

Once, she dreamt of lands where nothing meant everything
and pain was self inflicted, and who enjoys pain.
In this land the clouds opened for her, and she saw the sun
golden and red, for the very first time.
And she realised that dawn, without bloodshot eyes
was as rare and beautiful as people said it was,
yet knew its fragility, knew that she could destroy it
just by closing her eyes and pretending it wasn’t there.
But awareness pulls her out of the dream, and she wakes.

She approaches life, always aware of the threat of death,
and tries in vain to open her heart and let me in.
She holds the key which is so hard to find and tells
me not to worry, one day she’ll work it all out.
She talks of love and me, but never of us, and in the
same breath offers me a reason to believe which,
disguised as an arrow, is shot into a forest green,
where I run to find its mark, and turning around
only to find that the bow-man has taken her away.

And yet when despair envelops my soul she returns
disguised as hope and leads me back through this life maze,
to where we last sat holding hands, trying to talk of a future,
perhaps for us, yet somehow finding that the past gets in
our way. Then all that’s left is a piece of the present with
two hands clutching each other, as if that
moment is all there’ll ever be for us.

Yet should I stand in the corner as if time was on my side
and think of what I wish could be. Her mind has so many
corridors and avenues that sometimes I can’t hope to understand.
She lives within a faith that defies logic, yet when she asks me
to follow her path I shall, and somehow know and respect
her judgement. Then contentment is borne out of doubt
and despair which haunted my soul as surely
as life remained with me.

And I know I’ll follow through her dreams with a heart that is
open and a mind that is free. I’ll hold her heart in my hand,
and then I’ll realise that life was given to me as well.
And when she gazes at those clouds, opening for her to witness the sun
golden and red, for the very first time……… she’ll turn,
and see the dawn in my eyes, and realise that it’s a dawn
prepared for two people who could, and should,
be so much in love.