To my Love

I am writing you on the eve of returning to Vancouver. As you can imagine so many things are running through my mind. That is why I feel compelled to express to you how I am feeling. I ask myself where are we now, where will we be in the future and how will we get there. We have both come to an understanding that there is something more to us and that we need to be careful with it and take care of it and explore it slowly. The future holds no promises but promises everything in the same breath. Do we take the jump and see where is goes? I know I want to.

The one thing I know for sure is that I need to properly close some doors and start a different chapter in my life first. There is no doubt in my mind what I need to do in that area, I know what I feel for you is real and I don’t have any time lines in my head but, All I know is how I feel when I am with you and given when it’s the right place and time, there is no person, places or things that will keep me from the one thing in my life and heart to be true and that is you. No matter how many dates I have gone on or taken an easy way out it has not allowed me to forget you.

When I am with you the world is alive and it makes me realize how so very much I want to be in it, I mean really be apart of something bigger than myself. To experience the JOY and laughter and the hard times that humbles me and allows me to appreciate the good and true things in my life. Your words of affirmations given to me this weekend allowed me to understand that what we have there are no words for it and that no amount of time or distance will diminish that, the special moments that we share from the moment our eyes briefly glance at each other where no words are necessary. To the little things as a kiss on the neck and touch upon my thigh, to cuddle you and the smell your skin and breath you in make me feel like a woman and allows me to believe I am worth it. I feel no insecurities now; to do so only diminishes my worth. A calm has come over me that tells me I am ok we, are ok and time is on our side.

So many things that were left unsaid and so many things that were said this weekend needed to be said. Thank you for allowing me to express to you my inner most insecurities and about how I had felt, you listened with love and understanding and kissed me, held me and love me and healed my heart with your words. Thank you so very much. I stand here today more sure of myself than I ever dreamed possible and I am so very grateful to you for that. No matter what I do I have a right to allow myself to me happy and I plan to do so. From the dancing to Jazz music in the kitchen, the incidental little guitar lighter, the music gathering of your favorite songs to the airplanes kissed the scratching of the nose and the wine kisses, the hill by Day and Ross. The back seat in the middle of nowhere and your eyes when they look into mine with such love and acceptance those images are forever placed in my thoughts and every time I think of them they will always carry me to you.