Tonight we Two to Unite

Her eyes convey news
Saying she will not refuse
Divine bliss they produce
My loving eyes they induce
She writes a love-message
Through her eyes to assuage
Her action does really encourage
By giving me the greatest courage
Though no words are spoken
He love is very positively taken
Her kind look is a love-token
To prove I have not mistaken
When I look at her face
Full Moon there I trace
She is full of divine grace
Emitting Angelic rays
Her hair like clouds spread
A small dot in her forehead
When her vision is by me read
Glorious emotions greatly flood
So sharp is her lovely nose
Air with deep pleasure goes
Her cheeks are softer than rose
My joy immeasurably grows
Her teeth shine like pure silver
Immense mirth her words deliver
Her tongue acts like a magical lever
And completely cures my sexy fever
Her neck gives a amorous kick
Stopping my feeling sick
Her chest does a glamorous trick
Where lily flowers I eagerly pick
Her bosoms are like two parrots
Beauties shine like golden chariots
They are my very valuable assets
They reward me after sunsets
Her navel generates thunder
They are made by the sender
After that when I go slightly under
I come across a voluptuous wonder
Her curved back-beauty provokes
And I give effectively pleasant strokes
Our love-vehicle contains joy-spokes
She feels I am stronger than oaks
She gets acute pleasure first
Out of my steady thrust
Then comes quenching my thirst
At last comes an ecstatic burst.
M V VENKATARAMAN
RE: MV

I dont think there is anything wrong with your style of poetry, i just felt i wanted to comment on it as although they flowed well with rhyme, i felt there was more emotion buried beneath them, that perhaps needed to be brought forward and expressed perhaps in a deeper way, more heartfelt, with less than merley just rhyming a poem. You have a gift, a talent, and i think that behind your rhyming words, lies depth that could move its reader if you allowed it to surface..:O)
mv

I can never really feel any depth or deep emotion fro yr work, its as though you concentrate to hard on making the last words of every line rhyme that they lose meaning... Perhaps you should try to feel and express them differently, so that they stir the reader more..:O) Unless thats just how i feel, they are quite hard to read i feel.
Dear respected Ms. Nikoshiana Flowerday-reply for your comments

Sixteen girls I hopefully loved
But their affection was not allowed
My mind became a tear-bearing cloud
I have loved so I feel really proud
You have expressed your opinion
A critic is also a wonderful companion
Poets alone form not to fight a union
You are throwing words from the pavilion
Indian girls gave me depression
Because of foolish convention
Even God did no prevention
I know not His true intention
My own self I should not flatter
I have received appreciation letter
From every European Prime Minister
They won't respond for zero matter
Even King of Norway has corresponded
Pope Benedict has kindly responded
By Swedish Academy I was commended
To mend my poems you have recommended
I do not steal someone' poetry
Gives happily poems my brain-tree
I am thinking not by being carefree
Somehow comes this rhythmic-spree
After 2500 poems I can never change
If my poems appear to people strange
Solutions, God alone must arrange
For my prayer, will blessings God exchange?
My poems, my father has not at all read
English is unknown to my mother's head
When continuous love-losses started to flood
Became totally corrupt my young blood
My psychiatrist asked me never to write
As for sanity I was making a fight
I was under drugs' care day and night
But very patiently I decided to wait
Now I am sweet fifty
Emotions are lofty
Experience is hefty
I have regained sanity
Dear child, thank your very much
Great advice your words could fetch
With no rhyme also poems I stitch
Which if possibly, I will try to pitch
With thanks and best wishes.

Recent comments
1 week 3 days ago
2 weeks 2 days ago
2 weeks 3 days ago
2 weeks 5 days ago
3 weeks 1 day ago
3 weeks 5 days ago
3 weeks 5 days ago
4 weeks 19 hours ago
4 weeks 3 days ago
5 weeks 4 days ago