It doesnt matter how many pairs of shoes you buy
How many times you cut or change your hair,
How much alcohol you sink in a night,
Or how many times you get drunk and fall over,
how many tears you cry into your pillow,
It doesnt matter how many nights out you have
or how many days you stay home,
How many friends you have over,
Or how many you avoid,
How many love songs you listen too,
How many times you get angry and swear,
It doesnt matter.

It doesnt matter if you fake a smile,
put up a front,
close your door.
Slam shut your heart.
Stare out a window
Talk to the moon,
pray to god
wish on a star
When your heart is broken - Its broken.
Only time will heal it.

And it doesnt matter how many times you say
"Never again"... because you will,
And you will because without it
what are you here for?
Love is all there is for us.
Yet slowly
with time...
tears stop,
hurt heals,
or is at least buried deep enough
to not be resurfaced.

Slowly you begin to feel better,
And its hard to explain to anyone
for you still carry the scars inside you.
They remain in you for life.
It could take months,
years...
But one day, the sun shines
you feel a little warmer,
Less afraid.
You like your hair,
Like yourself,
Smile a little more
Feel less on edge
You see a reflection less hurt
One more hopeful,
Welcoming,
Brave.

And with this comes an awareness
That you are able to love once more,
and open the door,if only ajar
to your heart,
Allowing someone new to step forward.
Not a lot, but a little..
enough to give you courage, enough to make you smile
and feel alive again.
Without fear, without reservation.

You become able to face the days you were so afarid of
and you get through the nights
that once left you empty
You have peace,
calm,
hope,
and most of all,
The courage...
To love again.